A few things to address to all
I wanted to make this kind of post for quite some time but couldn't start it. Now I am trying to make one but not sure if this message is written properly and well addressed.
First things first. As many of you know courtesy of Facebook that my mother passed away on 7th February at 8AM. I got plenty of wishes and condolences for this incident on Facebook; from many Banglagamer members and friends from abroad, including Crystal Dynamics Senior Art Director of Tomb Raider, Brian Horton.
Now, at the moment, its really tough to express my feelings as I lost the person whom I loved most than anyone else. One of the worst part is that my MBS result was published on the same day as well and my mom couldn't hear my result before she went. A few of you guys know about the reason my mom died. If not then here's a little summary. My mom was suffering from Kidney disease since 2005. And since late 2008, she starts taking Kidney Dialysis twice a week. For this reason she was too weak and and also attacked by few other disease. She refused to do kidney transplantation and wanted to carry on with dialysis but only did survive less than 5 years with it.
I myself am not well either. I stated before on this forum that I am also suffering from Ankylosing Spondylities and Rheumatoid Arthritis at the moment. My illness started in 1995 with Rheumatic Fever. Later those two other disease also developed inside me. I had to take uncountable numbers of pain killers throughout all these days, probably more than 3500+. So it might easily be happening someday that some more severe disease attack me, because of the side effects of pain killers.
Now the hard part. Because of these things stated above, I am going through a hard time for last 6/7 years. As I grow up seeing all these stuffs around me, my mental situation wasn't completely normal. I did terrible things on this forum. I said bad stuffs, fights with many members. I want to take this moment and say that I AM TRULY SORRY FOR ALL OF MY BEHAVIOR AND BAD THINGS THAT I HAVE DONE HERE ON THIS FORUM. PLEASE TRY TO FORGIVE ME. I DON'T WANT TO MENTION ANY NAME CAUSE IF I DO SO, IT WILL BE SUCH A HUGE LIST OF MEMBERS TO WHOM I REALLY WANT MY FORGIVENESS FROM. SO MY APOLOGY GOES TO EVERYONE WHO THINKS OR KNOW WHAT I HAVE DONE. IF YOU CAN'T FORGIVE ME, THEN PLEASE LET ME KNOW VIA POST OR PERSONAL MESSAGES WHAT I CAN DO TO GET YOUR FORGIVENESS.
I don't know if or when my mental condition will be restored or not. Or will it go towards worse! So I am not sure and can't promise too strongly whether I can be very good from now on or not. I can only try more than my best not to do any more bad stuffs here on this forum. If I am successful, then you guys will not be able to see the bad part of old anik_lc anymore. But if I can't, then try to understand, its not all my fault, situation changed me to do so.
I am not sure if I will be able to survive from all these obstacles. I was my mom's only child and so now me and my father are the only who still alive in our very little family. Now there's plenty of time left for me to do plenty of things. I can't be sure for how long I can carry such heavy weight on my shoulder and for how long I can still be alive. Maybe its not for too long that I am here on this world either.
From now on, and for next few weeks or so, I will not be available. There are few plans for upcoming days. Tomorrow I will be traveling to Rangpur at my grandmother's(my father's side) place and will try to return before my birthday. Then after staying here for a few days, I will be going to Kushtia to my other grandmother's (my mother's side) place.
Hopefully will see you soon. Too bad this incident happen so close to my birthday and the release of my long awaited favorite game Tomb Raider. I know many of you can't read such a long, and might be useless post. I am not sure whether I should add or deduct anything on this post for now or so.
PS: As usual, I made some grammatical mistakes in this post. I don't know how many but there are some, and in future there will be too that I can promise. Please try to avoid pointing them out for now.
To me u r the one of the most politest as well as cool headed persons in this forum I have ever seen. Sorry for ur mom's death cause I know how important a mom to her children. I didn't lose her so I actually don't know the bitter taste of this suffering. I pray to omnipotent creator that he may restore ur desired peace and help u in overcoming every hinderence u r currently facing. Again apologizing for my unawareness so that at least I could say don't give up.
It's really sad to know about your mom. I don't use facebook. So I didn't here it before. I don't know what to say.
I'm not an 'old' or 'senior' member of this forum, but as far as I know, I can't recall of any incident where you did any 'bad' stuff. If I want to name 5 most polite member of this forum, you'll be in that list.
May Allah put her in Jannatul Ferdaous(amin)
Come on anil_lc, ur the person who is keeping this forum alive. keep going bro.
BTW take care of urself. Hope u'll get well soon.
I lived without a dad since i was 1 year 5 months old. He died premature after lung complications but because i haven't felt the love and the nurture he gave my brothers in their young days doesn't mean am stoic when it comes to him. At a growing age i just wanted feel justified as well in the eyes of my mother and my father(RIP) but only felt my mother's love and care and protection all of which am great full for . I know how you feel bro rage like that cannot be contained but it is also i say that people will understand due time of our lose. But don't tell yourself to be discouraged cause that is the last thing she would want as well, you're an amazing person bro and am proud to say that.
Last edited by Trave160; February 10th, 2013 at 15:48.
I am so sad to hear of the passing away of your mother. I wish you and your family the strength to go through this awful loss. ... I hope things get better for you soon.
Ki bola jai vai ??
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Rojiun.
I'm sorry & apni SOBOR koren, that's can be told by me.
As erokom situation amar hoi nai, so feeling ta pai nai.
Originally Posted by shafi
VERY TRUE, for most of the time.
Originally Posted by Badhon_raj
Originally Posted by CODhunter
Deepest condolence from the bottom of the heart. Only those who lost the loved ones know how hard it is to bear the loss. May her soul rest in peace. You are one of the most decent persons I know here, so don't be so hard on yourself and get it together.
I've only met you once and can say that you are a good person. Grief is part of life and we must all endure it. Believe, that your mother is surely in a better place now and turn your grief into something positive. Its easier said than done. But, have hope in mind and never give up.
Its a great loss and no one can take your mother's place too and i am really sorry to hear this insident that happend with you. May allah give her jannat. And i hope you can solve all your problems and will back again with so much happyness
Indeed a loss too irreparable.
Really sad to see a dedicated BG-er like u going thru such a bad time. As much as u r in pain and as much as u have heard it, I will say, Keep your faith in Allah and tell Allah of your troubles.
Good luck on your journeys and hoping to see u heating threads on all the hot upcoming titles.
why is it that who deserves the best has to contain and endure so much pain in their heart...
i guess it is the way of purity.
and yet why is it so saddening to bear?
even with all my serenity..
how can a few words be cause of tear?
Its just [EB]
. Not Elite B[
stard or anything like that.
I dropped all my ¤¤¤¤ against you a long time ago, man. Borobhai apni, so I should respect you.
Innalillah on aunty's death. She is in a better place now, I'm sure. Her son is indeed a polite person. I hope things get fine for you. I can't assure you, but I only can say that I hope they do.
And anik bhai, sorry for all the things I said to you too.
May her soul rest in peace.
Anik vai, amra jara baba-maa k harai nai tara apnar kosto ta bujhbo na. Mother- its a gift from God. And God has taken it back.
Ami BGr purano member na,but joto din dhorei asi,apnar moto kauke dkhi nai. Believe me or not. Ami khub valo mood a chilam ajke, but apnar ei post ta dkhar por amr mon sotti venge gese. Jodio apnar sathe amr kokh0no dkha hoy nai, tar poreo bolte pari- you are definitely a good guy.
Allah apnake ei kosto sojjho korar himmot din.
i'm sorry to hear this news anik. just wanna say may her soul rest in peace. n please stay strong. Inshallah, everything will be alright.
ইন্নালিল্লাহি ওয়া ইন্না ইলাইহি রাজিউন
Indeed we all belong to Allah, and we all must return toward Him.
my deepest condolences...
may Allah give you strength to endure and overcome all hardships...
May her soul rest in peace.
and take care of yourself
May her soul rest in peace
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